Thursday, December 23, 2004

The Morning Read

Ahh, the day before the day before. A final round of Christmas shopping this morning, then work, then an evening of wine and frivolity with my wife and brother-in-law before the Christmas Eve traditions begin. The holiday has officially started for my wife, though. A third-grade teacher, today's the beginning of her first extended child-free stretch of the year (and boy is she ready). It's 7:30 a.m. at the moment, and while typically she'd be in her classroom with two hours already behind her, she's instead sitting in her pajamas, playing FFX. Good for her.

On to the morning reads:
  • Ohhh ... you mean that conflict of interest! Word from the AP that they're pulling their poll from the BCS. Probably a good idea, but is it really necessary? I mean, there's no way a small and elite group of journalists that have been covering their local college football programs and been part of their local college communities for decades would ever have a conflict of interest in how they vote, is there? And there's no way journalists might have a poorly-informed opinion of teams they've never seen play, is there? And a professional reporter would never consider where they might go to cover a bowl when they vote, would they? Naw, reporters don't do things like that.

  • Hands off the ta-tas! Word from the TSA that they will no longer pat down the "breast area" on females unless a hand-held metal detector goes off first. I'm certain this is disappointing news for thousands of female TSA agents, who I'm sure were using the search procedure as an opportunity to cop a cheap feel off members of their own gender. Or maybe it has more to do with this press release from the ACLU? I report, you decide. Now, nobody should ever be put in a compromising position. But to open a vulneratbility that affects millions at the behest of several hundred? As my wife said this morning, "It's not like they're pinching nipples or anything." Then again, maybe they are.

  • Monkey boy. Just go see for yourself. I'm not saying I endorse it, but you have to admit, it's at least novel in concept.

  • What happens at the intersection of too much money and fucked up values. A woman pays 50 grand ... 50 grand ... to clone her cat. Let's see ... fund a college scholarship ... no. Buy school lunch for 500 kids for 10 years ... no. Help cure cancer ... no. I know! I'll clone my cat! I understand grief and all, but choices like this? They make me sick.

  • The Next Blog: Beach Bum.
Have a great day, y'all.


At 1:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like Scrappleface's always-better-than-the-onion newsy take on the monkey-face story.
(scroll down after opening the page)


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